Dalai Lama storms Manchester in Buddhist Booze-up

Reports emerged this morning that the Dalai Lama, Buddhist spiritual leader of the politically disputed province of Tibet, has been held overnight by Manchester police. It is believed that the high lama in the Gelug branch of Tibetan buddhism has been released on bail following last night’s events.

The 14th Dalai Lama, otherwise known as Tenzin Gyatso, recently appeared in front of a live audience in the city at a show promoting social harmony. He is widely acclaimed as one of the leading ambassadors for human rights, and was in the English city with fellow Tibetan monks attending a convention on the role of racial integration in tackling poverty.

It is believed that, following the convention, a group of men clad in red robes were spotted in the Weatherpoons pub in central Manchester.

“We were quite shocked to see monks knocking back pint after pint of ale” admitted Chelsea Martin, 22, who was in the pub at the time. “They seemed to be having a nice time, quietly enjoying their drinks.”

Chelsea then reveals that it was after a few hours that her and her friends noticed something was awry. “They began to get more rowdy” she continued “eventually they a stood up, chanted some foreign verse, downed their drinks and stormed out.”

CCTV footage gathered from Manchester City Council clearly shows the group of clean shaven men wreaking a path of destruction down a main street of the northern city.

Witnesses have described events as “surreal”, “terrifying” and “strangely erotic”, as the men shattered store windows and intimidated groups of young women.

“They surrounded me, hands clasped in some satanic prayer, chanting solemnly ‘Get your tit’s out for Tibet'” said victim Rachelle Stephens. “One of the men then made a grab for me, so I legged it.”

It is thought that the group will be heavily fined as a result of last nights rampage, although due to the nature of their work in Manchester it is believed they will escape further prosecution.

When questioned by the press in the aftermath of yesterday’s shocking events, one of the monks gave the following statement “小伙子们在游览!” before being ushered into an unmarked police car.


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