Chick-fil-A launch controversial new advertisement campaign

Fast food franchise Chick-fil-A continues to attract press attention, this week announcing plans for a controversial advertisement campaign starring new mascot “The Chick-Fill-A”.

The chain has recently come under scrutiny after it was revealed that the company’s charitable arm — the WinShape Foundation – had donated large sums of money to organizations that promote “anti gay” views and behavior.

One of these organizations to have received donations from Chick-fil-A is the Family Research Council (FRC), which has been labeled a “certified anti gay hate group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC). The Chair of the FRC, Tony Perkins said he believed homosexuality should be outlawed in an interview on MSNBC in 2010.

Chick-fil-A’s funding of such groups has been a source of great controversy over recent weeks. Many supporters of gay rights have requested boycotts of the company, or for the restaurants to be closed down all together.

Those supporting the chain, including Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, have declared that such actions would be a violation of First Amendment rights such as freedom of speech. Huckabee called for a “Chick-Fil-A appreciation day” on his Facebook page, with other 550,000 viewers responding that they would participate.

Many are likely to regard the company’s new ad campaign as another attack on the gay community. The adverts star a mascot named “the Chick-Fill-A” and have already be criticized as an attempt to promote a heterosexual lifestyle and traditional marriage.

The adverts show a well-built cartoon man enjoying Chick-fil-A’s famous Deluxe Chicken Sandwich and waffle fries with a large breasted but modestly dressed woman. The woman’s t-shirt declares her “The Wife” whilst the man’s says “The Chick Filler” in large red letters.

The clips are accompanied by a musical jingle with lyrics including “Come to Chick-fil-A for delicious chicken/and to learn that the only place to stick-it-in/is your lady-wife/Chick-fil-A for life/We can’t say that you can’t be gay/But the Chick-Fill-A knows it’s the only way!”

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Goldman Sachs announce ‘Social Alchemy’

The Chief Executive Office of Goldman Sachs today unveiled a revolutionary new service, dubbed ‘Social Alchemy’.

In a press conference delivered from the global headquarters of the investment bank, Lloyd Blankfein , rubbing his hands together and cackling with mirthless glee, outlined details of the scheme.“To put it simply” Blankfein drooled “we have divined a method of turning the broken dreams of honest, hard working Americans into pure gold”.

Although exact details of the procedure remain a closely guarded secret, many Wall street analysts have offered their take on events.“Too many times I have left Macy’s, in a brand new pair of Ferragamos, only to step right onto a dirty, festering, middle class vagabond” lamented Frederick Duberry, an MD at Deutsche Bank.

“Finally someone has devised a way of ridding the streets of the leeches that suck our nation dry, and put the money back in the pockets of those who deserve it” he added in a muffled tone, beneath a crudely improvised cashmere face mask. “Frankly, the stench of cheap cologne is becoming too much for us decent Wall Street gentlemen to bear”