You’re fired! Lord Alan Sugar seriously injured in kiln accident

Iconic business magnate Lord Alan Sugar is in intensive care following an incident involving a ceramics kiln. Reports suggest former Amstrad owner Sugar was on a visit to a charity event in Hackney when the accident occurred.

Eye witnesses report that Sugar ignored warnings by staff to maintain a safe distance from the oven and lost his footing, plunging his head and torso into the 800 degree inferno.

“He went up in a furiously ironic blaze” mused Raef Bjayou, popular former contestant on Sugar’s show The Apprentice, who was appearing alongside Sugar at the event.

“I feel for the bloke, but frankly he had it coming to him”